勾小指。

勾小指好像是小时候象征性的行为。我们俩也勾过。你说勾了小指，一言为定，永远不分开。可是天下午不散的宴席。天长地久是理想中。你踏出我的人生。说实在，我还有点儿的对象。怀念。怀念当年的欢笑喜乐的日子。有点后悔，有点遗憾。但我们俩毕竟不再勾小指。我只喜望你能找到永远能和你勾我的和我勾小指。对象是主。祂给我的承诺将保持存。

memories

dear god,
its been such a long time since i last talked to you. you remindee of the verse in romeo and juliet. the friar told romeo,"wisely and slow, they stumble that run fast."
we always want to do things at our own pace don't we? after getting out of a major crash, i want to pick up the wheel and drive again. but it seems that you are right. you have always been right my lord.
in the middle of the night, i am unable to fall asleep. nostalgia crippled me. the memories of those happy times with her swept into my mind. taunting. tempting.ocking even. the things which i shouldn't have done. the things i should have.
god, this burden is indeed too heavy. take my wheel and be my compass again. i know you have a greater destination in mind. wisely and slow, i know i will get there some day. with you by my side. thank you lordyou are ever so wonderful. amazing father.

exit 2011.

旧的不去，新的不来。
thank you Lord for bringing me through 2011.
truly, it has not been the easiest of time.
it was supposed to be, but it was not to be.
yet even in this toughest times, You have placed people in my life who have stood by me and supported me when i am down.
i had dreams; You taught me to surrender them.
now i truly know how Jacob felt like with each limp he took.
that limp reminds me of You each and every time...
as i hobble past the finishing line of 2011, i am thankful to You for:
the best parents that one could ever wish for.
inspite of it all, mom never complained; dad was with me supporting my decisions; bro prayed for me constantly.
the best buddy one could ever wish for. took time out and drank beer with me. saluto jd. saluto.
the best friends who were there to spend time just to make sure i am ok.
saluto ken, jh, howie. saluto guys...
the friend and 'mom' who was there and saw through the process...lily. saluto lily...
the most awesome cell one could ever wish for. the honour and priviledge to do pw for them really made me continue to engage Your presence when i least felt like. especially alvin, don and addy...saluto guys...
and to You my Lord.
天下无不散之宴席。
all the good things must come to an end; and then continue on to 2012!

thank You!

the choices we make.

for each and every decision we make, there's always a price to pay.
you have made your decision, and i will respect it.
now i've made my decision, and i wish that you will find true happiness again.
if it all ever happens, if there is a chance, we will start all over again.
for now, i've packed my bags, and i've decided to move on...
2011 december marks a new start for me.
a new life, a fresh beginning.
this is the last month of the year, and i look forward to a greater 2012 ahead!
take care, and take good care of the 2 rascals.
i know you will one day look back at all these, and maybe we can laugh over it all...

我寂寞。爸爸你知道。

凌晨一点。
我心里很多感处。
下定决心， 不会往回头路走。
爸爸， 您知道我这几个月走过的路。
感谢您一直陪着我走。。。
有时候， 我以为您抛弃我了。
痛苦， 裴哀， 难过。
您把我的希望放得那么高。。。
一切落一场空。
寂寞， 一个人走很难。
在黑暗中， 忽然看到一线光。
爸爸， 是您在提着灯。
您一直都在我的身边陪伴我。

谢谢您。

我会勇敢站起来。

盼望。

到头来， 我发现， 原来我的要求很简单。
我只求她能接纳我。
接纳现在的我。
就算我永远不改， 她还能爱我。
我会为她负出我一切。。。
简单的爱， 能找到吗?

self actualization

after these past few mths of turmoil, it is time to close a chapter and move on.
it takes time to heal, after all, it was at the doorsteps of the aisle.
and even more so, that my close friends are all entering the new phases of life.
why not me?
yes, why not me.
why this time?
why like this?
there are times of solitude when emotions get the better of me.
at times of hardship you find out the true friends.
i just want to be thankful for all the true friends who stayed behind and stayed with me even at my lowest point.
it was not easy nor was it pretty.
you guys have seen me at my best and my worst.
but yet you guys were there for me...
i still believe that what doesn't break you makes you stronger.
dear brother, you know that i will move on from this.
that my faith in God still remains, that He is always in control.
and God is still good all the time, everytime.
moving forward, i don't know what path shall i take,
but rest assured, i will continue to walk.
out of this valley, to climb on to greater heights with my dear ones.

thank you, and thank you.